Goodbye 2021... New Year Resolutions for 2022

Where do I even begin... I barely blogged at all this year, I guess I was just too busy with work, wedding planning and crafting to even sit down and blog about stuff. And because of the pandemic I wasn't in any mood to blog I guess. But at the very least, I must always do this one post. I know from here on out, things just aren't gonna get any better. But I have hope, and hope is a dangerous thing for a woman like me to have (sorry, I just had to... I think Norman Fucking Rockwell is my fav Lana Del Rey album along with Ultraviolence...). 

I mean, as I type this my back is sore and has been sore for the past five days now after grating cheese for almost an hour non stop using a not so ergonomic cheese grater for a lasagna for Christmas dinner, so that's wonderful. And I can't see out of my right eye cause my doctor told me to stop using my ortho-k lenses due to a "dry spot" and I'm still wearing Invisalign after 2+ years but hey... it could be worse, right??? Never thought I'd still be dealing with these stupid little health problems but here we are...

Anyway, I guess I crafted a lot in 2021 because I figure that life is short and I need to put something out there that will live on after I'm gone, and what better way than through art? And it really helped me take my mind off the depressing shit going on in the world out there right now. 

2021 To Do List:

1. Get married. Yes, the plan was to get married in 2021, no, it did not get pushed back due to the pandemic... yet. To be honest, trying to plan for this wedding makes me depressed when it's supposed to be a happy time. I've been to a few friend's weddings before the pandemic and they're all having babies now. Yet... all I did was get engaged. In my mind, I'm just trying to prepare myself for the fact that no one's gonna be there at my wedding and I can't ever expect that friends will gift you back and be there for you like you were for them. One of life's many hard to swallow pills...Wow, talk about being emo LOL. In fact, we did get married. I can't believe we were so lucky to actually hold an in person wedding at a venue for friends and family during October when omicron wasn't here yet. We had about 60 guests and overall it went alright, but being the perfectionist that I am, of course I keep saying I wanna do it again and fix all the mistakes that only I focus on, lol.

The weather wasn't the greatest but somehow our planner made it work and pulled out these cute umbrellas. Photos turned out a lot better than I thought...

I got to have my macaron tower!! I'm still miffed that certain family members chose not to come, but I'm trying to focus on the good. There was also some drama with the dry cleaner of my dress but I finally have it back in my hands now and that's all that matters!

2. Get another doll. I'm cheating with this one since I already purchased it in October but until it gets here, I shall leave this here. I might've put something like "get back into the bjd hobby" in a previous year's resolution but this time I'm a bit more serious!

I got him, finally! But he looks nowhere as cute as in the promo pics... not sure what's different. Getting into the bjd hobby is hard when I can no longer justify the cost anymore... plus shipping from overseas just isn't getting any cheaper. Most of my doll's clothes are still at my parents place and I haven't really had the time to take them out and pose them for pictures, In fact they're pretty much chilling in my closet, same as how they were before I moved out. Oops...  I really do want a lot of dolls though and to get back into the hobby for real but for now it's just not a priority, as much as I love them :'(

3. Move out and build my dream closet. This item ties in with Number 1...So I did move out and took over 3/4 of Fred's closet and I put my normie clothes where you can't really see them when you open the closet doors but they are still easy to access and all you see are my lolita dresses... but would you call it a dream?? Hmm... not yet. Mostly cause it's still not big enough! And the walls are a wrong color :( But an improvement I guess!

4. Go thrift shopping. This one's going to be a little hard since thrifting isn't really popular here and all the thrift stores are kinda far from where I live, and there's not that many... but we'll see! I'm disappointed I didn't get a chance to do this :( Maybe in the future when I clear out some stuff because we have a lot of old things we wanna donate...

5. Wear all my lolita dresses at least once. I've actually gotten more confident in wearing lolita in public now that facemasks are involved. You would think that now that I moved in to where I've been taking my selfies, I can just dress up whenever and snap a pic. But no. Ever since omicron, I haven't been feeling the urge to get dressed to go out at all. And it sucks cause I keep getting dresses because of retail therapy but I don't get to wear them out. I need to work on this one!

6. Get over 1,000 sales in my Etsy store. I know I just did a whole rant on why numbers shouldn't matter to me, but I wonder if I got lucky this year due to the pandemic and people shopping online at home more. My only hope is for my sales and following to grow but there's only so much one person with a full time job can do. I just wanna make stuff and keep sharing it with the world. The world needs more kawaii. I did it!! It only took what, 12 years?!?!

7. Save money. I used up some craft supplies I had for a while but I ended up buying more! I need to stop and use it all up and stop there... I've hoarded too much already. And I just want to save up more, in general. (For all those future vacations I won't be able to go on, haha...) I've failed... I ended up buying more resin from Amazon since the supply from Japan was just not economical and they couldn't ship to me since they sealed their borders shut. And I ended up in a bracelet frenzy from the 11.11 sales and bought a bunch of beads from AliExpress, even though bracelets are my worst selling items?!!! Why do I do this???

8. Exercise, and be more healthy. Not that I've been unhealthy, as I've almost stopped eating out entirely altogether, not even getting takeout... but I just feel very tired and out of stamina sometimes after crafting for hours and I just want to feel... more alive? I guess? And maybe lose some weight before the wedding too, ha...  I did try to take some walks when the weather is nice but lately the weather just makes me wanna stay inside all day and craft. Maybe if I exercised and learned not to over exert myself, my back wouldn't be hurting like this... sigh. I'm really getting old. T__T It's so hard to find the motivation to be active, I don't know how people do it...

9. Learn to drive on highways comfortably and confidently. Challenge still stands!! I'm still anxious and thus there is nowhere to go and gas is so expensive I haven't had the chance to do this at all... :( I mean, I can drive on highways, I just prefer not to LOL...

10. Learn to cook. Specifically meat. And put a whole dinner together from scratch. Challenge still stands! I helped make that lasagna and I made tiramisu the cheat way and it turned out a lot better than I thought, so yay? Still have a lot to learn though but we getting there??

2022 To Do List:

1. Buy a house. I'm dreaming really, with this kind of market and our location... but one can dream, right?

2. Go to Japan. Or some kind of honeymoon. Actually, it just has to be Japan. To see ALL the Gundam statues. Another dream, I know.

3. Go thrift shopping for furniture for the new house and do some DIY projects! Still wanna go check it out even if we don't get a house...

4. Start drawing again. I know I won't be able to do this because every time I put this on my list, I never do it. It's just so hard to find the time in between work and crafting and running an Etsy store... but I really wanna draw again for fun. I have so many art supplies I need to use up...

5. Get over 1,000 Instagram followers. Every person and their mom who has a crafting account has thousands of followers. It's fucking sad, really. This bitch from Poland ripped off my work and they have 10 times the amount of followers than I do, and they started their account just this year. In fact there's tons of people contributing to the worldwide clay shortage by suddenly getting into making trendy polymer clay earrings due to the pandemic last year. And then you have people who have no talent who are complaining about "lack of engagement" but then they have over 10k followers. And here I am not even close to 1k lmao. I'm happy with what I have and I know I shouldn't be comparing myself to other crafters but some people really need to stop whining about it. The algorithms aren't helping anyone. I'm just crafting as much as I can because I'm getting older and I honestly don't know how much longer I can keep this up. Selling online is so competitive and it really takes the joy out of crafting for me sometimes.

6.Wear all my lolita dresses at least once. I really need to push myself with this one cause I've hoarded way too much and shit needs to be worn...

7. Make more trinket dishes. I started making bigger things like ring holders because a friend gifted me some Sculpey... and I barely used all of it!

8. Make a new profile picture for my socials and banner for my Etsy shop. Ties in with #4. I really need to work on my "branding", or lack thereof. I did consider commissioning someone but then... why not do it myself? I've been using the same icon for years and I really need a refresh... I can't remember the last time I used my tablet...

9. Actually get my teeth fixed enough so I won't have to wear my stupid aligners anymore. You have no idea how embarrassing it is to go see my doctor every month and see all these kids there. I swear even some of the nurses laugh at me for being so old and still getting my teeth fixed. I wish I could just cuss them out because they make me feel so ashamed but I have to hold it in... -___-

10. Hope and pray that me, and my close friends and family stay healthy. It's all I can hope for right now. I don't know what else to write here honestly.

Happy New Year everyone! I won't hope for the better, because I already know there won't be a better outcome, but I'll just hope for the sake of hoping. Does that make sense??